FAQs / Frequently Asked Questions
What can I expect from working with you?
You can expect to be met with nonjudgmental compassion and openness, and to learn effective tools to develop self-compassion, a steady mind, and wise and kind relationships. Using traditional teachings and proven modern mindfulness tools, I will help you see that you’re not a problem that needs to be fixed and you’re not broken—you’re a struggling person who really needs to be heard and understood — by you.
In our sessions, we’ll go at your pace, and I’ll show you how to approach your difficult emotions and self-judgements with skill and care, for greater well-being and ease. Each of our meetings will include a guided exercise, and together, we’ll create a personalized daily meditation routine for you to practice at home.
What kind of meditation do you teach?
I primarily teach body mindfulness and awareness practices, and lovingkindness meditation. However, different minds require different methods. Depending on your needs, I can show you other practices that I’ve learned through my Buddhist training, such as concentration exercises, walking meditation, breath counting, Tonglen (a Tibetan compassion technique), Yoga Nidra, and many more. I might also suggest exercises like keeping a gratitude journal, offering blessings, and using mindfulness bells. We’ll work together to discover the practices that are most beneficial to your mind.
How does working with you differ from psychotherapy?
The main difference is that we’ll focus on what you’re experiencing, with less emphasis on why it’s happening. For example, if you struggle with a particular emotion, I’ll help you directly experience the physical sensations, feelings, stories, beliefs, and thoughts that arise when it arises. The contemplative techniques I offer will help you approach difficult emotions with openness, compassion, and understanding, so you no longer have to react impulsively, run away from what you’re feeling, or attempt to destroy aspects of yourself that you don’t like or want.
I know from experience that psychotherapy and meditation can be deeply complementary. Therapy can help you make peace with the past and understand the reasons for your reactions, judgements, and stories. The path of meditation can help you recognize your loving, wise, and connected nature, and provides powerful and useful tools to help you learn to steady yourself when you’re upset, develop tolerance and kindness to pleasant, unpleasant, and dull experiences, and reconnect to your inherent well-being and wholeness.
How long and how often are private sessions?
We meet for one hour. Students typically use the time to discuss their difficulties and obstacles, after which I lead a guided meditation practice for 15-30 minutes. Most students meet with me weekly or bi-weekly, at their discretion. If you have no meditation experience, I suggest we meet weekly for 8-12 weeks to establish your practice.
What are your fees?
Working together is not an impersonal transaction where I give you want you want and you pay me for it. Rather, it’s a personal relationship in which we recognize our generosity to one another, each of us providing mutual support to the other. That’s why my fees are on a sliding scale. You can find my current fee information here. Please select the highest rate you can reasonably afford.
What are your credentials?
I’ve been a Buddhist student for nearly 20 years and have been teaching since 2009. In 2011, I completed a 200 hour Meditation Teacher Training and am a Certified Mindfulness Teacher (CMT-P) with the International Mindfulness Teachers Association. Perhaps most importantly, I regularly attend silent retreats, workshops, and classes with Buddhist teachers. Though I am not a licensed clinician, I trained to be a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist from 2002-2006, and hold a BA in Physics from Hunter College and a MA in English from City College.
Additional Experience and Trainings Include:
Yoga Nidra Program
Trauma Informed Mindfulness Courses
Anti-Racism Programs with People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond, Roshi Merle Kodo Boyd and Tiffany Taylor Smith of Culture Learning Partners, and the Transforming White Privilege curriculum
Over 2000 hours of silent meditation retreat practice
Guiding Teacher in several Meditation Teacher Training Programs
What type of Buddhism do you practice? Do I have to become a Buddhist to work with you?
I primarily study in the Insight and Tibetan lineages. My teachers include Sharon Salzberg, Ven. Robina Courtin, Larry Rosenberg, and many others. I’ve taken Buddhist Refuge and Bodhisattva Vows in the Kagyu tradition, and my dharma name is Tenzin Drolma. I’ve made a commitment to follow the Buddhist ethical code of the Five Precepts.
Most of my students are not Buddhist, and you don’t have to be one or even want to become one to work with me. The practices are effective whether you’re a Buddhist or not.
Can you tell me more about your Grief Support program?
After the death of my mother, I learned that grief is a natural response to loss—and it’s uniquely painful. I began leading grief groups and working with others to share the skills that helped me through it, which I later shared in my book, Navigating Grief and Loss: 25 Buddhist Practices to Keep Your Heart Open to Yourself and Others. If someone you loved has died or you’re experiencing a divorce or breakup, I can help you feel less overwhelmed or devastated. With lovingkindness meditation, somatic practices, and the Buddhist wisdom of impermanence and change, I’ll show you how to meet your grief with kindness, gentleness, patience, and wisdom.
I’m a successful high-achiever. How can you help me? What can you tell me that I don’t already know?
I work with many people who seem to have everything—money, power, status, talent, professional success, and/or the respect of their peers—and yet they still feel unhappy, dissatisfied, unloved, needy, or filled with self-loathing and self-criticism. It’s usually because they—and maybe you—don’t understand that life is not circumstantial. Your well-being and peace of mind are not dependent on what happens outside of you. In fact, I think you’ve probably noticed this for yourself — that even when you get what you want or something wonderful happens, you don’t feel happy — or at least not for long.
Your intellect can only take you so far—but you can go beyond thinking, reacting, and responding from old conditioned patterns and habits to experience real wisdom — the freedom gained through contemplative practice. Instead of staying stuck in repetitive cycles of struggle, you can rewire your thoughts, words and actions to experience more ease, honesty, and satisfaction. You can learn effective tools to pay mindful attention to yourself and develop a profound understanding of what’s happening in your body, mind, and thoughts in the present moment, empowering you to respond appropriately no matter what is happening—good, bad, or boring.
Is there any evidence that Buddhist contemplative techniques work?
As a 2600 year old discipline, there are countless documented experiences of meditators who’ve used contemplative practice to develop the capacity to be present, deeply compassionate, and undisturbed by change and impermanence. In recent years, the western scientific community has conducted research on the practices of mindfulness and lovingkindness, and found that practitioners report less stress, a greater sense of well-being, more pro-social behavior, better resilience, and a friendlier and more loving relationship to themselves.
You can learn more at these links:
The Center for Healthy Minds at University Wisconsin Madison
Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University
What is your cancellation policy?
You must cancel or reschedule an appointment with at least 24 hours’ notice. If you cancel an appointment with less than 24 hours’ notice, or fail to show up, you will be charged in full for the session.
How can I get started?
Schedule an introductory meeting at no charge, and we can discuss your needs and see if we’re a good fit to work together. You can ask me questions and tell me about you and I can let you know my offerings. You can also email me.