When Things are Very Hard

I’ve been struggling with a lot recently—family sufferings, life disappointments, and of course the pandemic and the other difficulties in the country and the world. So one day, after a difficult conversation, I decided I would just sit down and be quiet by myself for a few hours. At first, my thoughts just continued an argument in my head. But I kept remembering to come back to what was happening right now—the cool air from the window, my upset stomach, and all the pain and tightness in my heart. I said to myself, “Kim, you’re really struggling and it’s okay,” and felt my body relax, and I sighed. Then I said, “Tara, I surrender. I don’t know what the future holds but I will trust that you’ll help me meet it with wisdom and compassion. 𝘖𝘮 𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘛𝘶 𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘦 T𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘰 𝘏𝘢.” Tara is a Tibetan manifestation of compassion, and she lives inside all of us. By trusting in Tara, I’m trusting in my own good heart and clarity—which is sometimes hard to see. But when I get quiet enough, I can sense it’s there and let it guide me to recognize my confusion and upset, and open my heart to it all with kindness, instead of anger or blame or shame.

The Green Tara practice is available to everyone, Buddhist or not. You can try the following instructions, condensed from Venerable Thubten Chodron: “Visualize Tara in front of you, and as you recite the mantra, Om Tare Tu Tare Ture So Ha,  visualize rays of light flowing from her heart to your heart. Recite as many mantras as you like. Then ask Tara to help you develop a wise heart, and let her image dissolve into light, which pours through your forehead and down into your heart. Now your body, speech and mind are Tara’s body, speech and mind. End with silently saying, “May all beings including me be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May it be so.”