No Such Thing as a Baby

The great psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott once said, “There’s no such thing as a baby.” What he meant was that there can’t be a self-existing, independent child—if there is an infant there is parental care, and without parental care there is no infant. In the same way, there’s no such thing as a mother or a father or a spouse or a sister or a friend or a teacher. All of our roles are defined by our relationships with each other—as Thich Nhat Hanh says, we “inter-are”.

This is true of all living beings. Our lives are inextricably intwined and interconnected, and not one of us can exist independently of others or of our environment. Our world is entirely relational. So it’s also true to say that there is  no such thing as a person. There is only us, together, living as one big organism. It’s only our thoughts and ideas that create the illusion of separateness, and we can lessen their power and our attachment to this delusion with practice. The next time you’re feeling independent or think you’re unsupported and alone, you can try this Metta meditation. 

Put your hands on your torso, and pay attention to the rise and fall of your belly as you breath. After a few minutes, begin to imagine your friends and family, people you don’t like, animals, and strangers all over the globe. You might imagine all Earthlings—and silently say, “May all beings, near and far, be safe and protected and free from inner and outer harm. May all beings, near and far, be happy and contented. May all beings, near and far, experience their deep connection with each other.”